The Day Yuffie Stole Shin-ra
It was night in Midgar, at least that's how it looked, Yuffie couldn't tell, being below the plate and all, all she knew was that it was dark, and it was cold. She had been stuck in Midgar ever since she had left Wutai, and it stunk. The whole place was filled with slime and human waste, and she hated it. But it wouldn't prevent her from her goal, stealing the Shin-ra company. She had planned carefully, for days and days, of how she was going to do it. Even though Midgar had been mostly destroyed by Meteor and Holy, President Reeve had built it back up, minus the Mako generators. Yuffie's plan began with her stealing Cait Sith right out from under Reeve's nose, and ransoming him back for the company. It would be cool, President Yuffie, she liked that. There was only one problem.
"I'm in jail!!!!!!!!!!!!" she wailed. Never before had she been caught for stealing materia, she always got away, but she had been thrown in jail for loitering! Of all things, the mighty materia hunter had been collared for loitering. The guard, an ex-Soldier, snickered at her from his post. She wished she could just reach out and rip his tongue out of his head, but that would require a much longer reach. She sat on the flea-ridden bed in the pig-sty of a cell, and plotted what she would do once she ran Shin-ra. "First, I'll get myself lots of Cait Siths! And then, I'll get a life-size Britney Spears poster! And, and, a scooter!" she giggled. The guard, curious as to what she was giggling at, rapped his nightstick on the bars. "Shut up in there!" he yelled.
After nearly a day in jail, they let her go, and she rushed outside to the waiting adventure, and was astonished to find that there was no one around. "Must be night time." She thought. Yuffie hurried to the train, and hopped on the one headed for Shin-ra Inc. When it arrived, Yuffie jumped out to find that the place was empty except one guard. She quickly snuck inside, past the guard, and took the elevator to the top floor. Yuffie jumped out, and crept among the shadows to the office of President Reeve. The door gently eased open as Yuffie finished picking the lock. Inside, she saw Cait Sith, asleep on the couch, his moogle asleep at his feet. Quickly, she grabbed Cait, and before he could fully wake up, chloroformed him and stuffed him into her pack. Then Yuffie beat feet to the exit, and happily jogged back to her house, where she tied up Cait, and went to sleep.
The next morning, after an invigorating shower and a breakfast of MakO's, she went to check on Cait Sith. He sat awake, struggling to get out of the tight ropes. She giggled and knelt in front of him. "Morning Caity. How'd you sleep?" she taunted. Cait Sith whimpered, "Yuffie, what are you doing this for?" Yuffie giggled and said, "I'm ransoming you for the Shin-ra company. If Reeve makes me president, I'll let you go." Cait stopped struggling so he could laugh harder. "You've got to be kidding me! You, you want to be the president of Shin-ra?! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!" Cait Sith laughed his robotic head off. Yuffie pouted and demanded, "What's so funny!? I'd be a good president. I'd give everybody...free Britney Spears CD's! And...I'd make all the workers take naps after lunch!" Cait laughed even harder, sparks flying out of his robotic head. Yuffie stomped her foot, "Stop laughing at me! I mean it!" Cait Sith gradually calmed down, and said, "C'mon Yuffie, let me go. Reeve won't trade the company for me, I'm just a robot!" Yuffie was still pouting, "He will so, I know he will, you're just trying to trick me." Cait Sith shook his head and said, "Yuffie, what if I give you your own Cait Sith, would that make you happy?" Yuffie jumped up and down, clapping her hands, "Yeah! That would be, like, soooo cool. Can I have one that looks like Garfield?" Cait Sith cringed, and said, "Yeah, just untie me, I have to go to the bathroom!"