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What if Final Fantasy VII was a Western?

Would we hear things like:
(In John Wayne's voice) That's mighty big sword ya got there, pardner!

Go fer yer materia

That's six-gun Sephiroth, the baddest hombre in the Northern Crater

Get along little Nanaki?

Imagine:
Sephiroth and Vincent in cowboy outfits

Chocobo rustlers?